


Sentimentality

by Fyre



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 22:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1527404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyre/pseuds/Fyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agent Carter would never want to be classed as a war widow. Didn't make it any less true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sentimentality

Colonel Phillips wasn’t by nature a sentimental man.

He’d been a soldier too long for that, and seen far too many good men die for damned stupid heroic reasons to shed a tear for them. Getting all choked up didn’t help anyone, least of all the soldiers.

He was a commander.

Agent Carter didn’t have that luxury.

She was tough as his pappy’s old boots, but even back at the camp, before little Steve Rogers became Captain America, he saw the way she looked at that boy. The kid was decent, no question of it, and smarter than pretty much all of their troops. And then he went and threw himself on a grenade for her.

Even someone as tough as Carter had to be impressed by that.

He figured it for a crush, something that pissed her right the hell off. 

First few months, that’s all it looked like, but then months turned into a year, and then into another, and Carter was there when Rogers flew in from missions. They didn’t even damn well touch each other, but they were practically undressing each other with their eyes.

It wasn’t just a crush.

Carter was the one who took the last call from Rogers. 

From the tone in Rogers’ voice, Phillips knew what was coming.

Least he could do was let the lovebirds say their goodbyes. It was all they were gonna get after all, and they deserved that.

He could hear her voice cracking as he walked away, and closed the door to let them talk.

He didn’t know what he expected of her after that.

Not every day that the love of your goddamned life throws himself on a grenade for the whole world. 

Fifteen minutes later, the door opened.

Her eyes were red but the make-up was only a little smudged. She looked calm.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news, Colonel,” she said, her voice even more clipped and English than usual. He couldn’t help noticing the way she was clenching her fists by her sides. “Captain Rogers went down with Schmidt’s vessel. I have the approximate coordinates, so we can send a search detail.”

Phillips eyed her. “You gonna need some time, Peggy?”

“It’s Agent Carter, Colonel,” she said. Her voice was brittle, but fierce. “I don’t intend to be consigned to the sidelines. Not now.” She drew a breath through her teeth. “If you don’t mind, I would like to be the one to tell his men.”

Phillips nodded. “Tell them he was being a hero again.”

Her mouth moved in a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m sure they’re quite aware of that, sir.” She inclined her head stiffly and strode past him. He turned to watch her go, and she stopped less than a dozen paces away. “Oh, and Colonel. I would be rather obliged if you didn’t mention to anyone what you heard or saw.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Agent Carter.”

She glanced back over her shoulder at him, nodding tightly, gratefully.

Phillips sighed, running his hand over his face. He didn’t know if she was being all closed up because she was British or because she was a woman and a soldier and emotions never went well if you tried to be both. Hell, it could be Steve’s reputation she was protecting. 

Some parts of Agent Carter were plain as day, but others, you had to know what you were looking for and he knew he was missing a whole lot of the big picture. Rogers saw more than Phillips ever would. For that reason, if not that Rogers was the best damned man he had ever known, Steve Rogers was good enough for her.

So he didn’t mention anything, and she never broke, not for a second.

She walked tall, and got things done, and no one would have thought she was another war widow.

When they war came to an end, they could almost make like it was worth it. People waved flags and cheered and laughed like they hadn’t done in years, but Carter only smiled that quiet, brittle smile, and shook the hands of the people around her.

Phillips didn’t know what he was meant to do.

He’d never had a grieving woman on his staff before, especially one who didn’t look like she was grieving to anyone but the people who knew to look closer. She was. Course she was. All of them missed Rogers, but if anyone mentioned him, it was like she pulled back inside her own body, so nothing would show.

So he did the only thing he could for her, when they were packing up to head back to the States.

He found Rogers’ file.

It wasn’t exactly a flag-decked coffin or a twenty-one gun salute, but he saw the emotions skim across her face when he handed it to her, the first emotions he’d seen in months. He just nodded, and walked away, leaving the file in her hands.

He wasn’t surprised that the next time he looked in the file, something was missing: the picture of the runt Rogers started out as. That was when she’d fallen for him. Of course she’d want to remember him, and not Captain Star-spangled Banner.

He shook his head, and poured himself a drink.

“Here’s to you, Captain America,” he said, toasting the file. “We had a great ride.”


End file.
